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Tightrope Walking 101: What Sarah Said

Title: Tightrope Walking 101
Characters (Pairings): Puck/Kurt, various others
Ratings/Warnings: None?
Summary: This will be a series of oneshots that I've written on my tumblr. Most are drabbles or ficlets. So unless stated, none of the stories are in the same verse.
Disclaimer: Standard still applies.
A/N: I really enjoy writing Puck's family. Sarah, you are perfection.

Tightrope Walking 101: The Black Lagoon
Tightrope Walking 101: 21
Tightrope Walking 101: Assassins
Tightrope Walking 101: Untilted
Tightrope Walking 101: Coffee
Tightrope Walking 101: Possess
Tightrope Walking 101: What Sarah Said
Tightrope Walking 101: Now Kiss

{Story Time|

What Sarah Said

It's after Puck cleans the bowl he used for cereal that he feels defeated. Drying his hands, he slumps into the living room were he falls onto his sofa, almost bouncing off it from the force.

"Pray tell," Sarah said, face suddenly in front of his, her hair tickling his nose. "Why are you being such a sad sack of shit?"

"Language!" Came a muffled yell from the other room.

"Sorry, Ma!" Sarah yelled back, "But Noah is being a sad sack of shit and I'm calling him out on it!"

"Whatever." Their mom yells back.

Sarah turns back to him, "So, sad sack of shit, why so sad?"

"Because of reasons." Puck mutters, turning on his side so that his back is to her and his face up against the pillows.

"Not a good answer, sad sack." Sarah sat on his legs, "You must tell me or I will tell you about what happens in the Hunger Games trilogy."

Puck turned and glared at her, "You better keep your mouth shut, asswipe. I'm almost done with the first book and don't ruin these for me like you did Harry Potter." He muttered to himself, a bad intimation of his sister's voice, "Oh Noah, don't bother getting too attached, Sirius dies. As. Does. Every. One. Else."

"Then tell me." Sarah replied.

Throwing a hand over his eyes, Puck said, "Kurt decided that he would continue dating Blaine."

"That fucking bastard."

"Language!"

"Sorry, Ma!" Sarah quickly yelled. "I mean, Kurt, I like the dude. He's pretty awesome. But it's clear that Blaine is cheating on him!"

"I know." Puck whispered.

"You need to fight for him." Sarah said, poking him in the chest.

"He won't— Blaine is his first relationship. I think he's got all his dreams set on Blaine. No matter who his boyfriend is screwing behind his back." He shrugged, "Besides, you can't even claim that he shouldn't continue dating Blaine because a cheater will always be a cheater. Kurt knows I've cheated. Your argument is invalid."

"But you wouldn't cheat on him." Sarah said with a sigh and slumped, "This blows, dude."

"Duh."

"You still need to fight for him." Sarah insisted. She put a hand over Puck's mouth as he started to argue back, "Shh. Just listen sad sack, you need to be there for Kurt. Basically date him without dating him. It's a start. And sing him Disney songs because Disney rocks. Like, I'll Make a Man Out of You is totes my favorite thing to listen to as I work out."

"But—"

"Shhh! Sad sack, I told you to be quiet. I'm plotting." Sarah said, "He likes romantic shit too, so be romantic. Blaine is a bit bad at that, I've noticed. And it's just, he'll realize that Blaine is a fucker—"

"Language!"

"—and deserves to have his cock cut off."

Puck blinked, "That sounds a bit severe."

"No it doesn't." Sarah got up and narrowed her eyes at him, "You are going to fight for Kurt if you care about him, which I know you do. You won't take any prisoners because it's a fight to the death. Or a fight to see who get's their cock cut off. Whichever you prefer. Because you can do this." There was a small upward tilt to her lips, "May the odds be ever in your favor."