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Tightrope Walking 101: Assassins

Title: Tightrope Walking 101
Characters (Pairings): Puck/Kurt, various others
Ratings/Warnings: None?
Summary: This will be a series of oneshots that I've written on my tumblr. Most are drabbles or ficlets. So unless stated, none of the stories are in the same verse.
Disclaimer: Standard still applies.
A/N: No, I don't know what this is. Mind, I do know that it's an AU.

Tightrope Walking 101: The Black Lagoon
Tightrope Walking 101: 21
Tightrope Walking 101: Assassins
Tightrope Walking 101: Untilted
Tightrope Walking 101: Coffee
Tightrope Walking 101: Possess
Tightrope Walking 101: What Sarah Said
Tightrope Walking 101: Now Kiss

{Story Time|


"You're kidding." Finn said to Tina, mouth falling open. "Him? Him?"

Tina grinned and nodded, "Yes. Don't underestimate our Kurt Hummel." She paused, "I think he uses the fact that most do to his advantage." She shrugged and turned back the lab beside her.

Finn had been recruited by Schue. It was strange, really. He'd never thought much about becoming an assassin for hire. He'd been too busy mopping up messes at the local grocery store and then going and working out at the gym afterwards. He knew that he was big and strong and had a mean right hook, but him? As an assassin? Only time he'd ever thought of himself like that was when he was playing video games.

But Schue saw the potential. And Finn was quick to learn as long as Schue was the one teaching him. Other than Schue, he saw Tina mostly. She was into poisons. Mixed them and distributed them. Either she gave them to other assassins or she did the job herself. But she was the expert in deadly poisons.

Finn had bonded most with Puck, even though he didn't see the guy much. Puck was one of the best, apparently. He kept hearing that Puck was tied for first in the title of best assassin. Not that ranking assassins was an easy thing to do… still, it was something Finn had heard on the grapevine.

Strange that the assassin community had a ranking system as well as gossip at the water cooler.

Puck was what other assassins wished they were. He was well built but moved with a grace needed to get the job done. Finn hadn't had an actual job yet, as he wasn't all that graceful and tended to muck things up when he tried to sneak about. Puck was awesome, he was laid back and probably got laid all the time. Of course, Finn thought that based on how much the guy flirted. Surely at least one person fell for his lines.

But Tina had just said that Kurt Hummel's nick name was the Little Big Man. And then she said that was because Kurt, who was wiry and sarcastic but wore boots that Finn had trouble thinking was found in the man section of the store, who was just so tiny and ate salads for lunch, that Kurt was the other guy tied for number one assassin.

What? Him? Kurt? Really?

Tina grinned and grabbed Finn's hand. "Yeah, Kurt and Puck are like, a match made in heaven." She pulled him towards the training room. "And I mean that in every way imaginable."

They stopped outside the room, looking in through the doors. Finn saw Puck in work-out pants and a white tee fighting Kurt, who was in some red pants that were rather tight and a white tee. Kurt's white tee looked like it belonged to Puck though. Which was… odd.

Puck laughed, smirk in place as he and Kurt fought, both moving almost too quickly for Finn to watch without feeling ill. Kurt dodged and got down on the floor, body moving into a position that reminded Finn of a spider. Grabbing into Puck's leg, Kurt tried to pull him down. Puck kicked and ended up escaping Kurt's grasp. Finn saw a glare flash on Kurt's face right before a grin took it's place. Before Puck could do anything, Kurt was on his back and had Puck in a chokehold. Puck tried to get Kurt off him, but Kurt held strong.

Puck started to sway and Finn knew that he was about to pass out. It was in that moment, that Kurt let go and landed on his feet, behind Puck. Both had stopped moving and were breathing hard.

Puck turned slowly and laughed before reaching out and collecting Kurt in his arms. Which was also odd. Why wasn't Kurt fighting back? For a second there Finn thought the fight was over, but with Puck's movement he'd been proven wrong and—

Tina's hand was on his arm, "Let's go get lunch. They'll be busy for a while." She rolled her eyes, "If they have sex in the training room again," She was talking louder, so that Kurt and Puck could hear, "they had better clean up and spray everything down."

"Wait. What?" Finn said, glancing back into the training room once more only to find Puck on his knees and undoing Kurt's tight pants that really now that he was looking he could see—Ooh. Yes, he and Tina would get lunch. "Ooh. Yes, Tina, lets go get lunch."


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
26th Apr, 2012 17:12 (UTC)
I cannot handle the amount of perfect in this little ficlet.
I just can't.
26th Apr, 2012 19:28 (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it! :D
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )